First Frost
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Chapter 36
Just This Once
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The distance between them both almost vanished.
His familiar scent grazed her nose as he came closer. His eyes were sharp around the corners and paired with his faintly hooded double lids, his stares always looked like he was scrutinising people in an arrogant and cold manner.
Now that he was bending forward to meet her line of sight, he wasn’t too far from her.
Wen Yifan leaned against the lift again and glanced back at him. Her thoughts were all muddled and she couldn’t figure out what he’d meant. She just assumed he was up to no good again and replied, “I don’t have anything like that in mind as of now.”
Sang Yan straightened his back, his lips were still curved up. She didn’t know if he’d buy it or not.
After some more thinking, Wen Yifan involuntarily added, “If I think about it in the future, I’ll let you know.”
“…”
After saying that, Wen Yifan stepped out of the lift without waiting for a reaction from him. She was quite stable in her footing, but it was a little heavy – like she was walking through mud.
Sang Yan finally realised that there was something wrong with her.
“How much did you drink tonight?”
Wen Yifan paused and said, “A cup.”
“A cup of what?”
“I don’t know,” Wen Yifan shook her head.
Sang Yan frowned and said in a frustrated tone of voice, “You don’t know and yet you still drank it?”
“Tian gave it to me.”
She replied every question like an automated response machine, but didn’t sound any else different from normal. If it weren’t for the sentence she added at the end, he wouldn’t have noticed anything.
Worried that she would fall over, Sang Yan went up to her and stretched out his hand to support her. “Stand properly.”
Seeing his actions, Wen Yifan subconsciously took a step back and held onto the hood of her jacket.
“Sang Yan,”
“?”
She stared right at him. The next words she spouted was so honest, it almost pulled him closer to her.
“I feel like I’ve been quite good to you recently.”
Sang Yan flinched.
“I don’t go against whatever you have to say, and I follow along.”
Sang Yan retracted his outstretched hand and said, “What’re you trying to say.”
“What I’m trying to say is, let’s negotiate,” Wen Yifan felt like throwing up again and slid nearer to him. His scent put her back at ease. “Can you not strangle me?”
“…?”
“I… Want to breathe properly,” she said.
Only then did he see the way she was holding on to her hood. He then recalled him grabbing onto Mu Chengyun earlier.
The corners of his lips twitched but he was speechless. He grabbed onto her arm. Her arms were still frozen in place as she remained vigilant.
“Fine,” Sang Yan clicked his tongue but his actions were gentle. “I won’t grab your hood.”
Wen Yifan slowly let go, but she didn’t fully trust him.
Sang Yan helped her back towards their unit. Glancing at her side profile, he lowered his eyes and stared at her thin arms. He said in a soft voice, “You won’t get that kind of treatment.”
After getting in, Wen Yifan put on her indoor slippers and was about to head back to her room. However, she barely got a few steps in before Sang Yan redirected her to the couches.
“Sit.”
Wen Yifan obediently listened and watched Sang Yan put the kettle on before going to the kitchen.
He quickly turned back and added, “Don’t touch that.”
She merely nodded, not knowing what exactly he had in mind. Her tummy was uncomfortable and her lids were heavy. She was craving something warm, but she also wanted to sleep.
After a while, she peeked at the boiled water. She let out a sigh and reached out her hands, wanting to get a cup of warm water for herself.
Sang Yan’s voice called out at that moment, “What’re you doing?”
She drew back her hand.
It felt like she was about to touch something that wasn’t hers without permission.
Sang Yan walked over and sat next to her. He had a jar of honey in his hands. Taking a few spoons of it, he mixed it with some cold water before adding in the hot water.
His suit was still on. With his broad shoulders and long legs, the aura around him was serious and it suppressed his usual playful and sarcastic character.
“Why do you have that on today?” asked Wen Yifan.
Sang Yan didn’t reply, but he passed the cup to her. “Drink up.”
Wen Yifan took it and drank a few mouthfuls before asking again, “Did you get a job?”
He was exceptionally quiet and didn’t reply.
However, after a drink, Wen Yifan had become more talkative. “When did you get the job?”
It was just all questions from her.
She didn’t seem to mind that she wasn’t getting an answer from him and continued on, “Your job even requires you to dress formally?”
Sang Yan laughed, “You’ve got loads of questions, don’t you?”
She blinked.
“As for me,” Sang Yan got up after she’d drunk half the cup of honey. “I have no interest to have drunk talks with you.”
Wen Yifan felt wrongly accused and immediately said, “It was just a cup.”
Sang Yan ignored her and entered the kitchen.
Wen Yifan continued from behind him. “You drank a few ten bottles after your graduation. Now that’s called being a drunkard.”
He came to a halt and spun around. “How’d you know?”
“Mu Chengyun said so,” she replied honestly.
“…”
“Why’d you drink that much?”
After a prolonged silence, Sang Yan looked away. “It’s been so long,” he said. “I forgot.”
“Oh,” Wen Yifan realised she’d sobered up a little after half a cup of honey. Her stomach wasn’t giving her a hard time anymore too. “You should drink a little less next time.”
Sang Yan went into the kitchen without a reply.
Not too long later, he came back out with a bowl of congee and placed it in front of her.
Like he’d finally finished all his tasks, he slumped back onto the couch and said lazily, “Go to sleep after finishing that…”
Wen Yifan rediscovered the blessing of having a housemate. Sang Yan was quite a good person. She had in mind to take good care of him like how he’d done for her if he does fall sick in the future.
Sang Yan laid down and started playing with his phone.
Wen Yifan slowly drank the congee. She was about to say something to him, but his phone buzzed.
He picked up and said, “What.”
The man seemed to be like this all the time. If it was someone he knew, he’d not say much and impatiently let them get to the point quickly.
Wen Yifan swallowed the words had in mind to say to him.
“Whose birthday?” asked Sang Yan.
“Huh, you don’t have to call specifically to remind me of it,” Sang Yan’s tone of voice showed how unconcerned he was. “You can contact Duan Jiaxu yourself. At his age, why does it need to be broadcasted to the world?”
“…”
“If you think about it, just sneak it in quietly,” After a pause, Sang Yan laughed. “What’d you mean I’m old too? He’s born in the ’80s and I was born in the ’90s.”
“Forget it, go study,” he continued. “You have national exams next month. Why’d you need to care about these things?”
“I’m hanging up.”
The living room went back to being quiet after the call.
Wen Yifan’s mind slowly turned and thought of something. “Isn’t you birthday in January 1990?”
“So?” asked Sang Yan.
“Isn’t it a day after Lunar New Year?” said Wen Yifan. “That’s just two days after 1989.”
Sang Yan continued playing with his phone, like he didn’t care much about what she’d said. “You seem to be really well-versed with my business.”
Wen Yifan briefly paused and softly said, “The date’s pretty easy to remember.”
“Hm,” Sang Yan’s expression was calm. “It is pretty easy to remember.”
After finishing up the congee, Wen Yifan thanked Sang Yan and returned to her room. While she was showering, the hot steam cleared up her foggy mind and she recalled all the dumb things she did and dumb words she’d said.
She belatedly panicked and regretted touching alcohol tonight.
The lasting effects of the alcohol was causing her to be more drowsy.
She climbed into bed after her shower. Her lids were already unable to stay open and she had no energy left to recall what had happened. Amidst her fuzzy thoughts, the cup of honey that Sang Yan shoved into her hands came to mind.
It was very warm.
The warmth could’ve spread through her fingers, to her whole body.
Right before she slip off into dreamland, a notion popped into her mind.
Hopefully, Sang Yan can stay here, a little longer.
Perhaps she was affected by what Mu Chengyun had said, but when she fell asleep, Wen Yifan had a vivid dream about her graduation day. The scene was blurred. It looked real but didn’t felt too real.
She wasn’t sure if she was in a dream or in reality.
From what she recalled, the ceremony had ended in the afternoon.
Wen Yifan was wearing her graduation gown and holding her scroll as she exited the hall with everyone else.
There was a crowd outside. All those who were in graduation gowns like her were taking pictures with their family and friends. There were so many people, it was hard to not see anyone she knew.
She was also pulled over to take a few pictures.
Because they had internship in their fourth year, Wen Yifan wasn’t able to hang out much with her dormmates. Now that they were together, they were busy catching up with various things.
“Right, after I received my certificate, I noticed a really, really, really, really handsome guy seated at the back row. I don’t even know which department he’s from,” said one of her dormmates.
Another dormmate said, “What! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“You can’t blame me. You guys were still on stage. By the time you guys had come down, the handsome guy disappeared. I still feel like I was hallucinating.”
“Fine. Let’s just say you hallucinated.”
Hearing their words, Wen Yifan laughed.
Four of them were soon called over to take pictures with one of their friends.
Wen Yifan was pulled over by her dormmates and she was right in the middle. Her lips faintly curved up as she looked at the camera.
The student who was taking the picture shouted loudly, “Three, two…”
Right before the countdown ended, among the noisy crowd, Wen Yifan thought she heard someone call her name. It wasn’t too loud, but it sounded familiar.
Her breath stopped and she whipped her head around.
“Senior, why did you move all of a sudden!” the student asked.
“What’s wrong?” her dormmate asked.
Wen Yifan was still looking around, a weird feeling tugging at her chest. “I heard someone call my name.”
“Ah?” Her dormmates started looking around too. “Did you mishear? I didn’t hear anyone call out for you. Maybe it was someone who has a similar name to you. There’s so many people here…”
Wen Yifan could barely make up what her dormmate had said after that.
Her gaze was fixed in a direction.
The boy’s figure was thin and tall. He donned a regular white shirt and formal slacks, like he had come for the ceremony. He was looking down at his phone, slowly leaving the hustle and bustle of the crowd.
Walking towards a less crowded area.
In that moment,
Wen Yifan was thrown back to that rainy night, four years prior.
Although it was raining, the air was still scorching hot.
The boy quietly walked her home, his pride completely knocked down. That boy who always high-spirited looked like someone had crushed his ego and he wasn’t able to hide it.
In that long, endless alleyway.
He silently, one step at a time, walked out of her world.
Both those figures overlapped.
Wen Yifan’s mind went blank and unconsciously took a step in that direction, but she was dragged back to position by her dormmates.
“Xiao Fan, where are you going?”
“Senior! Let’s take another one!”
Wen Yifan looked away in a daze.
He would be in Nanwu at that point in time. There was no way he’d appear a few thousand kilometres away in Yihe.
He had no reason to appear there.
Wen Yifan distractedly took the picture, before glancing in the same direction again.
Every minute of the scenery seems like a dream.
That familiar figure had long disappeared into the crowd.
Wen Yifan woke up.
Her throat was very dry. She got up and switched on her bedside lamp. The bright light blinded her and she blinked, feeling like she was still in a hazy dream.
The dream was still clear as day.
She wasn’t sure if she’d really seen that figure on the day of her graduation, or if the dream had added a little spice to her reality.
Wen Yifan sat there blankly for a long while before shutting her eyes again.
However, perhaps it was the vivid dream, or because of the gathering earlier that night, her emotions were still running high and she hadn’t the slightly inking to fall back asleep.
She eventually got up to get a cup of water for herself.
Afraid to wake the man up, Wen Yifan left her slippers in her room and went out barefooted. She walked quietly towards the living room. Right as she was about to take a seat next to the coffee table, a door opened behind her.
Wen Yifan halted.
She turned back.
Sang Yan was coming out of his room. He was wearing a casual t-shirt and shorts and looked extremely tired. He probably got up for the washroom.
Spotting her from the corner of his eyes, he turned and said, “Sleepwalking again?”
“…”
“What’s triggering your sleepwalking?” asked Sang Yan. His voice was low and hoarse. “Drinking too much causes it too?”
Wen Yifan didn’t utter a word.
Looking at him, the scene from her dreams rerolled in her mind.
Her whole mind was filled with the figure of the boy, disappearing into the crowd.
The silent room and the dimly lit space bewitched her.
A strong urge started to grow within the depths of her being.
Sang Yan’s previous words echoed in her mind.
“You suddenly came and hugged me.”
He wouldn’t know anyway.
He thinks she was was sleepwalking.
He doesn’t know she was wide awake.
Wen Yifan slowly walked in his direction.
Sang Yan lazily yawned and made way for her, but he had the cheek to say, “You’re not gonna take advantage of me this time?”
Just this once.
She acted out of impulse, just this once.
Like she was transported back to the summer after their national exam.
Her younger self, who stared at his receding figure, holding back the impulse of rushing after him to hug him. Her younger self, who forced herself to look away, gradually backing away, walking out of his world too.
But right here, right now.
Right at this moment.
Time was flowing backwards.
She really wanted to do what she’d desperately wanted to back then.
Wen Yifan was completely taken over by the longing and the remains of the alcohol in her system. She wasn’t fully in her right mind.
She stopped next to him. Her heart was speeding up like it was about to burst out of her body.
Sang Yan was right next to her, a step away from her.
The scent of the man in front of her was no different to the boy she knew back then.
The light fragrance of sandalwood was floating through the air.
Wen Yifan took in a big breath and paused. She’d never done anything like this before.
Sang Yan continued, “You should go bac…”
She didn’t wait for him to finish.
Wen Yifan looked down, leaned forward-
and hugged him.
TL/N : screaming, crying
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